This post is specially for you that are a mother!

I receive many requests from parents to help them in relation to their children! A child, from the moment he is conceived, depends immediately on his mother. And mothers quickly assume that they have to feed themselves well for the baby to have a healthy diet, to rest for the baby to rest, to listen relaxing music or meditations for the baby to relax, and so on.

And they do all this without thinking that this same baby is already being the main Master of their lives. He’s teaching them that if they take better care of themselves, they will take better care of who needs them. After the baby is born, mothers, quickly begin to kick in this learning process. They want to be the best mothers, the most perfect, the most dedicated … and with that, they stop taking time to feed properly, to rest as they need, to enjoy a moment of relaxation. And they do all this for the sake of an unconditional love, a love that they believe makes up for any effort!

I am also a mother, I know what that is and I lived all these experiences! Until I began to realize that the process was wrong from the beginning. Tell me, when we are on a plane and they run the safety procedures, to whom do they advise to put the oxygen mask first? To the mother or the child? To the mother of course, because if this is not the procedure the child will not put it alone.

So let’s pause to reflect: if we want children who are well fed, let’s show how we take care of our food … if we want children to play … let’s show them how we adults also have our toys and hobbies .. If we want dreamy and ambitious children … let’s show them how we can achieve dreams through our optimism and motivation … if we want children who can be silent to be heard, let’s show them how we take a few minutes per day for us to do it … if we want healthy children, we will show them how we have health promotion habits, doing exercise, meditation, and so on … if we want children to become happy adults, we will show them that it’s possible through our own example!

No, it ‘s not doing everything around them, with them or for them that we do the right thing. In this way, we only allow them to grow empty, absent from some competences, unmotivated, unbelieving, unruly … because no one has ever shown them that the greatest source of “food” is themselves.

So when you want to understand what is going on with your child, look to yourself first!

If he is angry, sad, apathetic, anxious … ask yourself how you are!
If he doesn’t sleep well … ask yourself if you have enough rest yourself!
If he tests you over and over again … ask yourself if you challenge yourself enough …

Because your child probably just wants to wake you up … and since he knows you’ll look at him faster than you’ll look to yourself… he limits himself, as he can as a child, to be the mirror of himself!

What you feel as an act of selfishness on your part, as you look more into yourself, can actually save you and your child!

Love yourself first and raise healthy children!

Marta Pica Rodrigues

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